I have the feeling that everything is falling apart again, though I don't want that to happen. I just don't know wether it's avoidable.
A couple of weeks ago I finally found the source to my suffering and it ain't good looking, but I'll work with it, solve it. I wont fall to the ground again.
But that makes me curious of why I keep being this self destructive person anyway. I have the hopes, the right thinking, the right direction in life at the moment, still... I don't want to get better. When I finally can let myself show feelings, especially sad feelings, it seems like I cant anymore. Tell me if it makes sense to you, cause it doesn't work for me.